Only a month ago, I wasn't very happy.
My life wasn't turning out the way I thought it would. I had delayed graduation at BYU for ANOTHER semester. I had broken up with my summer boyfriend and had no prospects. I had no single friends besides my sister. I had delayed my dreams, including my trip to Italy. I spent my days basically waiting around for Mr. Right to magically appear and whisk me away to the temple. And then wondering why he hadn't shown up.
I was miserable and angry at God.
I was feeling pretty low when I went to a Women in Business Club event one afternoon. I didn't really want to go, I mostly just went for the free food. I remember sitting in that room and asking myself why I was there. All my old business school buddies had graduated and moved on and I was still here. Then the key speaker, Amy Rees Andersen, started her presentation. Her presentation was empowering. She talked about how, as girls, we put aside the things we want in life because we fill like we have to fit a mold or we're afraid. But God can't help us if we are not moving. She then talked about dream boards, a visualization poster of all your aspirations and goals. As a teenager and during my early college years, I had a dream board and can personally attest to its power. But I had pushed my dreams aside. I didn't allow myself to believe or go after the things I dreamed of and I realized that was why I was unhappy.
I came out of that event determined to change my life. No longer was I going to sit around waiting for life to happen to me. I was going to do the things I wanted to do. And if the things I wanted weren't apart of my eternal plan, God would stop me. But, hey, at least I went for it.
And the thing was, once I had decided to live my own life, I started getting happier. My life regained purpose. The lessons I needed to learn and the tasks I needed to do became clearer. I sought out some of my dreams and achieved them.
Sure, I am still single (and honestly, the most single I've been in over 2 years), but I am happy. And I am growing and coming into myself. And God is there to help me every step of the way. He has even guided me to opportunities I never would have found on my own. All because I decided to move and be true to myself.
In General Conference last week, one of my favorite talks was by Robert D. Hales (probably the first I've ever LOVED a talk from Elder Hales). I liked it not because of the financial or dating advice he gave from the pulpit, but because of what he said after that:
In the Savior's parable of the prodigal son, the son had many blessings awaiting him, but before he could claim him, he had to look closely at his life, his choices, and his circumstances. The miracle that happened next is described in the scriptures with a simple phrase, "He came to himself"... Just remember, you are a pilot and you are in charge. I testify that as you come to yourself, God will come to you.
We are masters of our own fate. As we move forward on achieving our dreams, acknowledging God and His plan, we will find purpose and fulfillment secularly and spiritually. Go get up and start chasing your dreams!
