This next gem I found in my files was an essay for my Mission Prep class sophomore year. This one really touched me. The struggle to yield myself to my Father in Heaven's vision for my life is a continuous work. It's nice to be reminded that He does know best for me.
One of the prominent themes in the novel of my life is that God and I don’t always have the same vision for my life. If you had asked in me as a sophomore in high school where I would be as a sophomore in college, I probably would have told you that I would be at NYU, been on Academic Decathlon, and probably have started a business. If you had told me that in reality I love colorguard, participated in Model United Nations in high school, and go to BYU, I would have laughed in your face. These past four years have been a whirlwind of unexpected decisions and unexpected revelation. But through it all, I will admit that’s God’s plan is better than my own.
When I was sixteen, I was somewhat lost in direction.After some difficult months, I was starting to heal, but was figuring out how to do that. It was just an ordinary day. I was walking to my math class when I looked up and saw a poster for winterguard, which is basically colorguard (people dancing with flags) without the marching band. I had never heard of winterguard before. My curiosity was piqued. I tore the poster off the wall and continued to study it for the rest of the day. Sounds interesting, I thought, but I don’t know anyone who does guard. Fortunately, a girl in my ward was trying out too. So together we went to winterguard auditions and in the end I made winterguard. Winterguard and colorguard gave me an identity, friends for life, and wonderful experiences I will cherish forever. I loved it so much that I continue to do colorguard at BYU.
After I joined colorguard, a lot of great things happened to me. Two specific blessings were my AP History teacher and my participation in World Scholar’s Cup (WSC), a worldwide academic competition, similar to Academic Decathlon. These two blessings came to face off each other at the end of the year when my history teacher urged me to do model United Nations while my WSC coach urged me to join Academic Decathlon. I was torn. Both opportunities sounded interesting and had plenty of wonderful experiences in store for me. But I couldn’t do both. So I turned to the Lord. And the answer came as Model United Nations. The Academic Decathlon team that I could’ve been on had a fantastic season, winning second in the nation. But I never regretted doing Model United Nations. It was in Model United Nations that I made lasting friendships with people all over the world, traveled the country, and developed a love for international affairs.
These experiences led me to one of the most stubborn, long suffering, difficult decisions of my life: the decision to come to BYU. My sophomore year of high school I decided I wanted to go to New York University and study Marketing. I love city life and NYU had one of the best programs for my major in the country. I had the grades and extracurriculars to have a pretty good chance of being accepted. But Heavenly Father had different plans for me. Midway through my junior year, I knew that I needed to go to BYU. But that didn’t mean I had any desire to go. In fact, I fought against it with all my might. What did God know? During the next year and a half, I continued to protest going to BYU, knowing that I would obey. I protested it until the third day of school freshman year. As looked around at the beautiful campus and the clean-cut people rushing by me to get to their classes, I finally realized and admitted that Heavenly Father was right.
So here I am standing on a precipice of the unknown. I have no idea why I live in Monticello Apartments or why I am doing a second year of BYU colorguard, but I do know that my Heavenly Father has led me to where I am and He will continue to guide me as long as I have faith and trust in Him.
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